February 21, 2011
New Post
I hate starting out to write a new blog post without having any idea what I’m going to say.
OK, I just thought I should get that out of my system now, because I really don’t know what I’m going to say. See, it starts when I open my laptop. Email, check. Other people’s blogs, check. Then what? Oh, maybe I’ll check on the ol’ weblog. See if it’s getting any views. So I click on over there and, lo and behold, views! Up to 3 a day, actually. (Okay, it’s impressive for ME!)
But my loyal followers won’t be satisfied if I don’t post, now, will they? Especially since I just posted a few days ago… expectations are high. If I don’t post now, soon they’ll be knocking at my door, holding pitchforks and lanterns. (Never mind that most of my followers actually live in the same house as me.) So I hit the “New Post” button. And a frighteningly huge blank text box pops up in front of my face.
I don’t think people suitably respect the power of a blank sheet of paper, text box, or slate in today’s society. All this pressure! What to write? It must be interesting, engaging, with just the right touch of humor… a collection to make even the most accomplished college-entrance-essay-writer gag. So I am faced with the open-ended white space. There is the promise that if I hit the “Enter” key enough times, this space will go on forever. I would point out that although this is an intriguing concept, it’s a waste of computer memory and a waste of photons. Also, you might get repetitive motion strain.
So I’ve got this blank text box, staring at it intimidatedly and pondering the many dangers of repetitive motion strain. (You know, like when kids text too often and their hands start to… whatever.) And I’m gazing around my room wondering if inspiration can be found in any of the dusty shelves and random stuff lying around. Which reminds me of that time I blogged about all the random crap in my room, and how that was actually a pretty decent post. Which leads me back to how people will have high expectations of me. And before you know it, I’ve written enough words to qualify as a whole post without actually having to think anything beyond what I was already thinking. Isn’t that a nifty trick?
